2017 HH100: Hot Takes

While the dust is settling on the 2017 HH100, a 100 mile intra-squad relay race around Morris County, there are a few hot takes to note while our memories are fresh and our legs still sore.

Most Valuable Runner:

At the post-run celebration, each team selected it’s candidate for MVR.  New guys and friends of the club Steve and Eric were unanimous selections by their respective teams, but the award for overall MVR is going to be a very, very close call either way.  Blistering speed and kill switches set to “On” defined each runner.

Greatest Behinds the Scenes Contribution

There are several actions which deserve this award.  Blowhards’s recruitment of some young guns, the Miyagi family’s organization and hosting of a post-run party, and those who volunteered to use and abuse their vehicles all day.  However, no contribution was greater than Liability’s donation of quality toilet paper, the most sought after item of the morning.

Longest Con

Chef and Miyagi aren’t even close to being in this conversation, giddily taunting their opposition with fast, long, and well publicized training runs in the weeks and days leading up to the event.  Juicy and Sherpa are, however, with MAF runs disguising their hidden talents to virtually fly up Waughaw and the Kinnelon hills.  The longest con of all time, however, belongs to Boulder Holder, whose training philosophy (“I ran around 5 miles a week for the last three weeks”) did not at all match up with his race day performance which was extraordinary.  A lot of apologies came his way yesterday for making him a last round pick.



Posted in Club Events, Racing | Leave a comment

Run of the Week: I am Ironman!


Huge congratulations to the first HH Ironman, Stone Cold.

Stone Cold earned his award several times over and will get three rounds of beer headed his way instead of the customary one for his outstanding achievement in the wilds of Lake Placid, NY.

Stone Cold swam over 5200 yards in 1:41.47, rode 112 miles in 7:19.41, and then to cap off his day, ran a marathon in 4:38.10, an amazing 10:32 pace.

Stone Cold celebrated by oiling the joints on his bionic legs, and then sampling the nightlife of Lake Placid, or sleeping for 17 hours…

Either way, very huge congratulations to Stone Cold for his Ironman and his first ever Run of the Week Award.

Posted in Racing, Run of the Week | Leave a comment

Back from Vacation: Belated ROTW Award #1

Big kudos to Sheila B., with her out of state 5 miler, which, according to club records and her memory, is her longest run in two years!  Way to grind, Mrs. B!

And congratulations on your belated Run of the Week Award!

Sheila rocking some New York toughness in Red Sox country!

The Stats:

Distance: 5.0 miles

Elevation: 353 ft.

Elapsed Time: 1:05.05

A well earned first ROTW Award for Sheila!  Keep it up!

Posted in Run of the Week | Leave a comment

Run of the Week: Chef Is IN! Attack Mode

Tip of the hat to the Captain for his big weekend effort, blowing away the competition and earning the prestigious Run of the Week Award for June 26th.

The Stats:

Distance: 20.1 miles

Moving Time: 2:40:07

Pace: 7:57 / mile

Congratulations Chef!

Posted in Run of the Week | Leave a comment

Run of the Week: It’s back, and it’s not a run!


Congratulations to the members of the Highlands Hashers 100 Cycling Team, a bunch of cyclists with a running problem!

For your Tour de Morris during the sweltering weekend, complete with rain showers and just awful humidity, you have earned our prestigious club award, without having actually run a step.


The Stats

Congratulations Gents, you’ve earned a round on the club!

Posted in Club Events | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

2017 HH100 Draft Breakdown: Winners, Losers, and More…

Morris County Running


Welcome to our breakdown of the 2017 HH100 Draft.  

Here are the moves we liked over the seven round draft, along with a few questions marks, and more.


Old Man Strength: By making Chef a captain, his team was guaranteed a top runner and possible first round pick.  Before making any selections, Team Chef brings the heat out of the kitchen. Continue reading

Posted in Club Events | Leave a comment

Draft Recap – 2017 HH100

Morris County's 100 mile relay race

2017 Original Draft Card

Well summer has finally begun to make it’s presence felt, with temperatures soaring into the mid-90’s this week.

What better time than to start planning for the second annual Highlands Hashers 100 – a hundred miles of running throughout Morris County at the end of July.

2016 saw the inaugural edition of the HH100, when the gang got together to run a friendly relay, in the spirit of River to Sea, a relay-race across our home state of New Jersey, in which the club had participated in for many years.

While good times were had by all, this year’s run has evolved into a two-team race, seven on seven, with two HH teams grinding it out and vying to earn a year’s worth of bragging rights and a night of free beer.

To that end, the 2017 HH100 draft was held last night to great fanfare. Continue reading

Posted in Club Events | Tagged , | Leave a comment

E. Murray Todd Half Marathon

Big congratulations to Bob, Mark and Andy for braving the cold yesterday and cranking out some respectable HM efforts.

Bob finished in 1:35:31, in a respectable 52d place overall, 9th in age group

Mark finished in 1:27:31, 20th place overall, 5th in Age group

Andy finished in 1:23:59, 12th place overall, 3rd in Age group, and setting a new Highlands Hashers record in the process!


Great work guys!

Check out the full results and finish-line video here 


Posted in Club Events, Racing, Run of the Week | Leave a comment

Run of the Week — Honolulu Marathon

This week the ROTW unequivocally goes to HH Smitty with his Honolulu Marathon. While Smitty has so-far failed to change his Strava entry from “Morning Run” we all know what he really did…. which is run a marathon in Hawaii ON HIS HONEYMOON. So big congratulations to Mr and Mrs Smitty, we can’t wait to hear all about your trip!



Also additional Kudos go to Jeff for nabbing 3 sets of Negatives over the course of the week, convincing all of us that Old Man Strength is real, and that it’s definitely game-on for the Boston Marathon this year.

Keep an eye out for more Hashers content coming your way, including updated club records, schedules and more! If in the meantime if you want to see what kind of running the editor is doing check out my blog here



Posted in Club Events | Leave a comment

Run of the Week — Path to Victory #125

This week’s run of the week goes to Sean with his “Path to Victory #125” Sean has been running this route with incredible consistency throughout the year, and while I could wax poetic about the steady decline in pace, or the monastic simplicity of his Path to Victory goals, what really sets this run apart is what happened to Sean mid-run, which I’ll let him explain in his own words (taken from Sean’s personal Facebook).


“Well…if finally happened, Folks!! After all these years of running back and forth over the “Suicide Bridge” I finally encountered my first jumper today.

The actual name of the bridge is the Victory Bridge and it was finished in 2005 and it’s 110 feet off the surface of the Raritan River below. This is the time of year that people tend to jump over, call it the holiday blues or whatever, but we are smack in the middle of jumping season. If more than 2 go over in a year, the Perth Amboy cops shut down the sidewalk to pedestrian traffic till Spring and it really messes up my training run and screws with me spiritually.

So on today’s run, as I approached Pillar # 6, which is right near the apex, or basically where the red crane barge is sitting in the photo, I saw a car parked on the southbound side with the hazard lights on. My first inclination was a stranded motorist, people break down here all the time and I even saw a lady pull over once to scream at her kids so a parked car is normally no cause for concern. But I saw this hobo looking dude wandering around on the sidewalk and I thought, “Uh-Oh.”

As I approached, he said, “Hey Buddy, can you give me a hand getting my leg over the rail?” I said, “Why, are you trying to jump?” He said, “Yeah, my life is fucked, I got no money.” I said, “Not my problem, but there’s no way you’re jumping with me here, I won’t help you with that.” He said, “I got no money, I don’t want to live.” and he made a break for the rail.

I jumped in front of him and my bargaining instincts kicked in. I said, “I’ll give you all my money ($5 bill in my pocket) and everything else I had (my chap stick, my tums, and all my clothes and my shoes) if he got back in his car and drove back down. He said, “I don’t need 5 bucks I need REAL money” and then he grabbed the rail and looked over.

He said, “It doesn’t look that far.” I said, “It’s only 110 feet. Everyone that jumps off lives (a lie)”. I said, “The water is calm, you’ll just hit the surface and pass out then you’ll drift to the shore and when the cops pick you up, they’ll be pissed and they’ll give you a fine.” I said, “They’ll take you to Raritan Bay medical center and it will take a team of doctors to revive you and they got no time for that, they’re busy as hell this time of year.” I said, “When you wake up, the first thing you’ll see is me and I’m gonna kick your ass right there in the hospital. ” I had no idea what I was doing so I just kept talking in a very authoritative tone and kept pointing, first at him, that at his driver’s seat.

Just as I was running out of interesting things to say, just before I started begging, he took a step away from the rail toward his car. I took this as my moment to act. I jumped in between him and the rail and I said, “OK, now you have to get back in the car and drive down because you can’t jump with me standing here.” He said, “Oh yeah, who the fuck are you?” I said, “I’m the Parakeet of Protection and NOBODY jumps on my watch.” Now, I was yelling loud and my finger was about 2 inches from his face.

Maybe it was my threat, maybe his rational mind kicked in, or maybe he just remembered a hidden stash of $ somewhere, but something changed after that and I saw his shoulders droop and he took a VERY deep breath and he took 2 steps away from the rail and toward his car. He wasn’t going to jump and it was time to make good on my promise. I took Abe Lincoln out of my pocket and handed him my champ stick and tums and started taking off my shirt. Luckily, he decided not to hold me to my promise and he got in his car and turned off the hazards and started driving down.

I thanked him profusely for that. I would not have a suicide on my conscience and I would not need to run the remaining 5.2 miles home butt naked in the cold rain. I ran after his car to make sure that he made it all the way down to the Rte. 9 circle. I had no way of knowing if he’d go back up there but at least I made him think twice next time.

The whole episode only took about 1 minute 45 seconds, I know because that’s how long my pace dropped to 0 on my GPS. I couldn’t believe it. I knew that one day I was very likely to see a jumper since people go over all the time during this time of year. I used to always play it out in my mind, “What would I do if I ran into a jumper?” Well, now I know.

So to all you Victory Bridge jumpers out there….listen up!!! The Parakeet of Protection will be patrolling that bridge and if I see you up there acting a fool, you better get down, or else I will talk and talk and talk and wear you out so by the time I’m done, you’ll be happy to go back to getting your life back together”


An amazing story, and undeniably this weeks “Run of the Week” Great Job Sean!

Runners Up include Jason with his Frozen Fools VII, and Sean/Jeff with their 12-Town Victory. Stay tuned for more epic runs.







Posted in Club Events | Leave a comment